Relationship experts in here, need advice

[Jacostang]

Some very good advice here for you.. I agree with most and there are some very cool car chicks out there just waiting for you!!!!

[FalconGTHO]

Late to the game here, but heres my sage advice. I am NOT picking on you. I have, and do, say this to anyone in your circumstances, regardless of gender.

1st, I had no clue you were that young.

2nd, unless you and her are platonic, nothing like a felony sexual misconduct with a minor charge. And theres no statute of limitation. So, you and her could be long broke up for years and she could flip out psycho (or her mom) and nail you.

3rd, if you knew of her drug past, PRIOR to hooking up, you shouldve never hooked up. Once you found out, which ideally shouldve been quickly if youre diligent with becoming aquainted with new romantic interests, you shouldve dropped her. No need to get into that kind of entanglement as you can now see why.

4th, given the ages here, she was NEVER going to be the LAST girl you dated, humped (if you did) nor "loved", nor were you going to be her last guy. And really, for you, the next girl and likely the next one after that wont be either. For her, definitely the next two guys and likely three wont be.

5th, no matter how great you think she is, shes not the BEST there is, nor the best youll find or be able to date, ESP at your age. In ANYthing in life, there is ALWAYS one better and ALWAYS one worse, no matter what. Sadly, we are far more likely to find the one thing thats worse than the one thats better. And by example Im talkng about, "Wow, that was the best dinner Ive ever had" or "That was the worst date Ive ever had", etc. Always one better, one worse, no matter how good good is or how bad bad is.

Lastly, and this further explains #4, in THIS day and age and for well more than a decade past, young relationships DO NOT last, ESP when BOTH are under 25 and MORE esp if the guy is younger than her. The MORE under 25, the LESS they last. Toss in a kid (and I FULLY support the military, so no flame) and/or the military, game OVER. And no one flame about "I know so and so and theyve been together for ten years", etc, etc. Doesnt count. UNLESS and UNTIL they reach OLD AGE together and intact, its merely a work in progress. PLENTY of time for things to incur the inevitable boom. And parents or grandparents dont count either because its an entirely different generation with an entirely (better) set of values.

And to preempt the flame on this, there is a biological, physiological reason for this. The human brain has NOT finished its growth vis a vis neural pathways, etc, until 25 to 26 depending on the person. Look it up, this isnt jive I pulled out of my arse. Given that AND the corrupt value system at work in todays, "American culture" thats why young (and even ones that start older) relationships dont/wont last.

[AZSonicSnake]

sometimes the truth can be brutal. no doubt about that. some good stuff in there. i completely understnad about the young relationship parts, though for me i happen to have one of those relationships that started young (me 19 her 16) and on the 28th of this month my wife and i will have been together 11 years. granted we are still young at 26 and 29, but it can be done. not highly likely, but possible. this is a strange world we live, and sometimes you just find that right person, but i can say it will not take that struggle to make it work. in my relationship with my wife its all come completely natural, and has never been anything we have had to work for or make work. but definetly good stuff in there.

[OH3MGSVT]

Thanks again to all who have posted, I have definitely listened to all of the advice. Just an update for you guys...I have for the most part moved on. I am no longer worrying about what/who she is doing all day and am not thinking about that situation over and playing it again and again in my head of why and how. I am currently talking to 3 girls that I was, ironically, talking to before I started dating her. Weird how that works huh? Anyways, the times I do think about her, I no longer get that emptiness in my stomach that I used to get. I am sleeping great, eating more than ever before, and started hittign the gym again, I FEEL LIKE A NEW MAN! I dont go into her business but I do hear things here and there about her and from what I know she had already moved in with the guy, still at his old house, guess she couldnt wait 2 weeks to move into their new house...but anyways She moves in tomorrow I guess and she had texted my bestfriends gf out of nowhere the other day asking how things were going and she said oh, im moving into a house on friday, and then she asked "so does your family like your new bf?" and she just said "yes" haha thats funny how she STILL cant tell the truth. The more I hear about her the better I feel because things are already falling down for her. Seems liek she is getting lonely already and is trying to find some friends "whats left of them anyways". Anyways I know you guys are gonna say "dude, just stop finding out what she is doing" Well I am, I am just told this stuff from her mom and/or close friends. I have also stopped looking at her/his myspace. It definitely helps me by not looking at it. 10 days til Im 21 THEN the REAL fun begins!!!

[1966PonyGirl]

woo hoo! i am proud of you! have a shot of ta-kill-ya (tequila) for me!!!!

[mntony]

Do yourself a favor and quit checking out her myspace. You're just going to eat yourself alive...I know, I've been there. She was trying to let you down easy...but she's too young to know how much she was hurting you by doing that. You'd have been better off had she just told you the truth and let you go. Once again the voice of experience. Like everyone else said, get out there and meet some new friends (girl ones!) and have some fun. You're way too young to be tied down anyway...wait until your 30 to get serious!

[OH3MGSVT]

Do yourself a favor and quit checking out her myspace. You're just going to eat yourself alive...I know, I've been there. She was trying to let you down easy...but she's too young to know how much she was hurting you by doing that. You'd have been better off had she just told you the truth and let you go. Once again the voice of experience. Like everyone else said, get out there and meet some new friends (girl ones!) and have some fun. You're way too young to be tied down anyway...wait until your 30 to get serious!

I said that i DID stop looking at her myspace...I would try to look at it when we first broke up but Im not doing that anymore..And honestly I am having much more fun being single, no more trying to hide texts or calls or whatever if one of my friends thats a girl tries to talk to me....so I can do whatever the hell I want!

[Classic67]

Glad to hear that you have moved on. Whoop it up on your birthday and enjoy the single life!

[OH3MGSVT]

So just found out today that my ex is now pregnant...not by me of course but her loser of a bf....well her life is ruined, and better him than me. Totally not an insult to couples that are having kids and what not, but it her situation, not a good idea. She tried getting in contact with me yesterday and i told her off, and now this today...wow! Soooo she just turned 18, is now pregnant by a POS bf who already has a kid he doesnt help raise from another girl and they have not even been together 3 months yet...simply amazing...sucks for her she had a choice to turn things around but she opted for this, makes me glad im 21 and can enjoy the bar scene and meet way better chicks than that!

[Jacostang]

Good on ya mate....