Relationship experts in here, need advice

[AZSaleen04]

Alex hang in there it will get better. Theres is some great advice here. From personal experince all I can say is stay away and don't do anymore digging, it will only hurt you more. We have all been there.

Time to move on! You will be 21 many more girls out there!

[OH3MGSVT]

Thank you all for your advice, I will keep those in mind through all this. It really helps me to talk to people so i dont feel so alone. Anyways jsut throwing this out there but I know for a fact that a lot of the people there are into drugs, like pill poppers. Im not accusing her of doing it but if she is somehow doing drugs, would this bring about such random behavior?

Side note: she had a drug problem a couple years ago but has stayed clean since, she swore to her mother she would never take them again because he mom said she would disown her. so IDK....

[Ruckus46gt]

just let go do your own thing and give her space. She will either continue or realize that she screwed up.

[96VERT]

I know what you going thru to man. Almost the exact same thing happened to me not to long ago. we were together for almost 2 years and then all of a sudden after she told me how much she loved me then all of a sudden she didnt know what she wanted anymore. And there is another guy that she didnt cheat on me with but she started seeing right after we broke up. I know how you feel my heart is broken too. I cant tell you what to do to make it not hurt. all that i can really tell you is that if you two are meant to be together then you will be together thats all their really is to it. I mean i think that my ex is the one for me but i cant make her make that decision she has to make it on her own and that kinda sounds like what your going thru right now. maybe she just got scared of everything that comes with a serious relationship. I know what you are going thru and i hope that it gets better soon.

[ttocs]

tell your friends to take you to a strip club and you will not remember whatshername anyway.....

[AZSaleen04]

Wow that's all you need is a couple of good lap dances and you'll be back to normal!

The good old single day's!!!! Enjoy it while you can!!!

[Chris B.]

Although it might seem hard to move on I think you should. I was married to my first wife for almost 4 years. I thought the problems we had would all work out, I was wrong. And going our separate ways was the best thing I did. I have been married to my current wife for almost 18 years now and am very happy! There is someone else out there for you that will make you much happier, and you will find out how easy a good relationship can be!

[OH3MGSVT]

Update: Just went over to return some clothes that was left at my house and talked to her mom for a little bit, based on what she told me and how shes acting, I can almost guarantee it is DRUGS that are causing her to be this way. Some notes that make me think/know its drugs

-Had bad drug problem 2 years ago
-The sudden 180 degree feeling change about me casuing the break up
-Wont talk to me
-Barely talks to her mom who she is VERY close with
-Acts distant from everybody
-Losing a lot of weight
-Lies to her mom now (sad she was at the bowling alley with her friend but her mom found out she was with nick who states "its not like that, we are jsut friends" as does my ex say that)
-Said she will be moving in with her friend Jenn soon (Probably gonna move in with that Nick guy)
-Only using that Nick guy to score free drugs
-Her whole work are pill poppers

Also found out that her mom text her and said "what is with you? do you not care whats happening? Are you even sad?" and my ex's response was "Of course Im sad mom, I just dont want to be with him"

How does that make any sense? Your sad about it but you dont want to be with him?? Thats like saying "Oh Mustangs are EXACTLY like corvettes, just different"

Long story short, I know whats gonna happen, her world will come crashing down around her very shortly and at the point she will realize (when she is off drugs) what a enormous mistake she made. Until that time comes im not gonna let her make me feel like shit, im jsut gonna live life to the fullest, party it up with boobs and booze and wait for her to come crawling back begging for forgiveness when at that point I can tell her "im sorry, im not happy, i think i just need to be single"

[5.0Stanger]

I've read through all of this, and I can tell you this:

Whether she's jumped back on the drug bandwagon or not, she's got her head messed up. Basically, she's turning 18 soon. You're turning 21 soon. I doubt that she's figured out what living on her own is like. She'll find out soon. You, on the other hand, seem to have been out there for a while. You did what you could with this relationship. I'd get on with my life, if I were you. Stop checking up on her. If you have any reason to chat with her folks or friends, don't ever bring her up in conversation, again. Doing so will only keep you wondering WTF?!

I, basically, killed a relationship by constantly wondering about my ex. That's why she's your ex, because it's over. I spent YEARS trying to work things out with a girl, to no avail. It was on, then off, then again, then off again.

Your idea of living life is a great one. Just remember, don't be a dick, when/if she comes crawling back to you. Because if it was a drug problem or not, you weren't a dick to her before. She's still a human being. And, you'd hate it if you were treated the same way. Turning her away would be just as good as what you'd say to her. Just say, "No, Thanks."

[BOOMSHAKALAKA]

man to me it sounds like this girl is all trouble. as much as you like/love her it seems like everything is out of whack. she is a teenager and is starting to have "freedom" and it taking advantage of it too much.
also going back and looking through myspace and stuff like that is probably worse and going to make you even more sad. just be patient and see if anyone else comes along.
sounds like to me that she was your first love and you dont want to let her go..... i know... hard to do.
but just be patient and everything will unravel itself.