Relationship experts in here, need advice

[OH3MGSVT]

Ok I know this isn't the best place i should be posting this but it helps me to talk about this and get advice. If you have nothing good to say or to make fun of me or whatever please leave. Anyways, okay so me and my ex gf had been dating for the last 6 months without a problem until recently she started acting weird (coincidently when she started her new job) well on October 23rd she broke up with me the first time. She had been acting a little weird a couple days prior to that like she was pushing me away, not acting herself and acted like she didnt want to talk to me for whatever reason. Anyways, that morning on my way to school I confrotned her about it and she told me "well im going to be turning 18 soon and im not going to be able to do the things I want to do, I dont want to be tied down" so i was like ok whatever do waht you want. I was bummed that whole day and her family was mad at her because I was the best boyfriend to her (All her exs treated her like crap and would hit her and cheat on her like infront of her YET she would still go back to them) so all of her family is pissed at her and I was bummed the whole day and she was apparently crying the whole day at work so she text me later that day asking if she could come by after work and talk to me. Well when i got home she was there crying and to sum that up she said she was sorry and that she was scared to lose me so she didnt want to get hurt first. So the idiot I am take her back and think everything is fine. Wrong.

On halloween night I go to Jeff's (asusmc) with her and the whole way there and the whole time we are there she is CONSTANTLY texting on the phone, Well she goes up to use the bathroom so i go check her texts, they were all deleted except for a couple in the trash. I look at them and i couldnt tell if they were TO a guy named Nick or FROM a guy named Nick but one of them said "I miss you too" and another said "I cant wait to see you tomorrow" with that said she told me earlier that night she was going to her friend jenns to help her move, so not sure if he was seeing him after or jsut told me that as a lie to go see him, or if that was from a previous day meaning he couldnt wait to see her at work...so she says shes tired and goes to sleep and when im sure shes asleep I go check her phone and there are no texts in there whatsoever. So i look through her pictures (this is a new phone for her btw) and she only has like 3 pics, one of her g-ma, one of her lifting up her shirt showing her boobs, and another of some gay looking guy (asuming thats Nick) Well she usually sends me those topless pictures but I certainly dotn remember seeing that one so Im guessing she had taken that and sent it to him.....So I end up calling that guy from her phone and ask him if they are cheating behind my back and that I want the truth, well he never tells me a straight answer and jsut says "I dont want to get in the middle of all this, if you think she is doing something you need to talk to her about it" (just a little background info on the guy, he is 26, has an 8 year old kid, and JUST got out of prison for a DUI for 4 years) So i put her phone back and he callsl ike 30 min. later and he leaves a voicemail, i check it and it says "Hey sweety jsut checking to see if your alright, ****in alex called and i jsut told him im not getting in the middle of this and for you two to talk about it" So i wake her up and ask her about it and she says "he isj sut a friend from work, Im allowed to have friends" I tell her i know that but i jsut want to know if she is wanting to be with him or whatever or if im just trippin. She tells me im trippin so i figure i was so i try to go to sleep but cant.

Next morning I text her mom saying I need to talk to her about something because we were going to her little bros soccer game. Well when we are there she seems normal and after the game I hug her mom goodbye and she tells me to call her after i drop her off at her car (which is at my house) I take her back, kiss her bye and then call her mom and explain all this to her, she says she will talk to her when she gets home. Well I guess they sat there for over an hour arguing and screaming at eachother and her mom was beyond pissed at her. So my ex texts me saying "Ill call you in a couple min. I have to tell you something" So she eventually calls and tells me how her mom wont even talk to her now and I ask her "so, what do you want to tell me?" she tells me "Im not happy, I dont know why im jsut not, I dont think i know what love is, I just need to be single and figure things out and what I want to do" I ask her how long she has been feeling like this and she says "for a while now, like a month or so" (bout the time she started that job) I ask her "oh, your not happy with me?" and she says "No, its not you alex you did nothing wrong" So I ask her okay, are you going to go date that nick guy, and she says "no im not, I dont even want a boyfriend right now, I have feelings for him but im not going to date anybody. After that I just told her to return the promise ring i bought her and im cancelling her off my cell phone plan.

So since then ive been really sad, I cant sleep well, I cant eat anything, and im constantly thinking about it. I went to her moms when she was at work and talked to her mom and returned some of her stuff, she made me feel better by talking to her but I got worse when it got to night time. So I go online and check who she has been texting and they were texting back and fourth all day. She just yesterday returned her phone and I guess got a cricket one in her own name. So she is no longer on my account but the line is still active so she still owes me $265 for the cancellation fee and for that months bill. Well I guess she sent her new number to everyone but me because my best friends gf is friends with her and she got a text from her about her new number. she also deleted me fom myspace that next day after the break up and hers is set to private so i cant look at it. I had her mom check to see if any guys were on it but there wasnt and she had taken all the pictures of us down. So I can stil see her mood and it says "had an amazing weekend =)" and her mood was happy. That pissed me off all to hell. I dont know if she did that because she knows i would look at it or if she really felt that way. No way she could have an "amazing" weekend when friday we didnt do much and saturday she broke up with me and fought with her mom.

So yeah thats where it pretty much stands right now and her mom called that guy when she was in the shower and bitched him out saying that he ruined a perfect relationship and she would kick his ass if she ever saw him and that he is not allowed over ever. I have a feeling if she could go back to the guys in her past that treated her like crap, she will come back to me some time. The thing that gets me is what would a 26 year old WITH a 8 year old daughter want with a 17 yr old? Obviously he isnt wanting a serious relationship. I dont know what he wants but i hope he does something to her that will make her regret ever breaking up with me. The thignsi f things were GREAT between us and it jsut randomly ended. She wont even talk to me, yet she said we could try to be friends but she doesnt want to talk to me, do you think she is jsut trying to get over me and get me out of her head? You dont stay in a relationship that long, a GOOD one, and jsut end it and not talk to the person. Anyways sorry for the extremely long post but I would like to get peopls input on what I should do to help get over it and waht you think will happen to her.

A side note, she always told me she loved me, and a couple times when we were dating i would text her as a joke "i ahve something to tell you" and she would get so freaked out and paranoid when i did that so she obviously had a lot of feelings for me.

[ttocs]

sorry to hear about your problems man, my thoughts are going to be different from everyone elses but........ After being in a few long term relationships I have come to the conclusion that women are drama. They make everything difficult no matter how simple an item it is from their finger nails to telling you what you feel. A couple of years ago I looked back and thought back to all the good times and bad times I had and I remember more good times when I was single, not serious and playin the field. I realized that it was easier for me to go find somebody to hang out with when I was lonely and single then it was for me to find some time alone when I was dating somebody(read it again and think about it). With that conclusion I have alot of friends now, and easy-come-easy-go look on relationships and a dog that is ALWAUS happy to see me and I am much happier as I can do what I want, when I want too. Its all about me :) Like I said my thoughts will be different from everyone elses......

[OH3MGSVT]

Thats good advice man, I will take it with a grain of salt. Honestly I was happy being single before all this ,she jsut cost me money, and a broken heart. It will take me a little while because she was my frist love, but thigns will get better soon, in 25 days im turning 21 and thats when the fun starts. I turn 21 before she turns 18, so im sure by that time if we were still together she would always wonder what i am doign and shit and always text and call me worrying about me. She said that crap about her not being able to do the things she can when she turns 18. Honestly, waht more else can you do when your 18 than 17? Vote, go to clubs (both dance and strip) and buy cigarettes. Thats it. If shes so obsesed about going dancing at clubs she will soon find out that only perverts with STD's go to clubs. She will learn soon what a big mistake she made and how good she had it

[ASUSMC]

Texts sent...

[Ruckus46gt]

dude to be honest as hard as it is move on. She is young and to be honest she isnt going to figure anything out for a while. I had something similiar on my last long term relationship. We dated for a year and a half and the first year was great, second 6 months just seemed aggrivating form time to time, but still had the good spots most of the time. Samething her past relationships were abusive and I was the good bf that didnt do anything wrong, took her to tiffany's etc. Anyways towards the end she started "baby sitting" as a second job etc and going off for now reason, almost basically looking for a reason to start something. On the way to the beach was the last straw she consistantly told me I was going to places hoping to run into ex's etc. I fllipped out and told her to get out of my car after she tried to throw it into reverse (over 10 miles to my house were her car was). So i drive off feel bad go back and get her after 2 mins of cooloing down. We talk she seems ok and get withing a mile of my house and it starts again I told her get out and just went back to my house and walked up to meet up figuring both had sometime to cool off. This whole time I talked to friends etc they all said shes all about you etc. Needless to say we broke up that day, we left it as we were on a break. I had school with her etc so we would see each other and everything seemed to be getting better. After 2 months of stringing me along she found someone else and ended it. she had issues were she needed to be with someone couldnt be alone it turns out. Anyways after talking to her friend turns out for the past couple months she did cheat, and was even seeing a 35 year old dude who she was babysitting for. Live and learn and take everything with a grain of salt. The heartache sucks and will be there from time to time (Only after a year and a half I started to think long and hard and actually wanted to propose, but held off due to the issues). Dont do things inspite knowing it would piss her off if she saw you with so and so, etc. Its not worth the drama because I bet she will come back and do the same. There are others out there and this will cause you to be more cautious and pickey which can be a goodthing. Its hard but I'd move on there are plenty of people out there. Goodluck

[1966PonyGirl]

sounds like she is going thru a double wammy. one, she is obviously is freaking out and looking at life more now that she is turning 18. two, she is going thru the "grass is greener" stage. My advice (may be harsh...): to move on and dont bother to checking up on her (myspace, or anything like that). She doesnt have her head on straight and is searching for her own bearings. checking up on her will just make you feel like crap. it seems like the random break up has shaken the ground you walk on so, this is your time now to go out, do more stuff for you/concentrate more on the things you like to do. By the way, cruise ins and hang out with happy car people is great therpy!

Just look back at what you did right and save your heart for someone who deserves it and will appreciate you.

[BurnTire]

Time to move on Alex. There are many nice ladies out there. You may have to test drive a few before you find the right one.

[AZSonicSnake]

i really think rox really hit the nail on the head. i would have to completely mirror what she said. theres alot of other women out there, and someone that will appreciate you. its obvious that this girl has her head a little messed up.

[93mustank]

Same ish happened to me.....stick to the older chicks alix....girls in that age group like to "find themselves"

[Steve2000GT]

+1 , I have met you alex and your a sick dude to kick it with, and plus have a nice car. If she can't appreciate you their will be one that does. I always looked at break ups like this.... " I did everything possible to be the best guy for this girl" and if she doesn't want to recognize it and appreciate me, then thats her loss I tried my best and thats all I can do. And then move on from there with no sadness or any doubt in your mind.