So first thing is first. Problem started on a day with torrential rains. I had to get to work and the L needed tires so the car got driven.

Just cruising down the road, everything is going fine, all of the sudden my radio turns off, lights dim, abs light comes on, and the bottom traction control button light comes on, and it doesn't want to rev at all. It will continue to cruise but won't rev if you try to accelerate at all. Obviously the car is now running on the battery.

First thought is the alternator. I drove the car into a parking lot where it died as I was parking it (perfect timing by me). Battery is dead right? Wrong . Battery shows good, over 12 volts through a known good multimeter. Starter just does the clicky thing where it doesn't have enough power to turn it over. All the lights on the interior of the car are still dim with a good battery. Checked battery connections at the terminals and they are good to go, nice and tight with freshly cleaned battery posts.

Sorry for the novel but what in the living hell could it be?!?!?!?