Aaaaaaaahahahahaha

[RockysMom]

An old lady is walking around in a supermarket calling out, "Crisco, Crisco,
Crissssssco!"

Soon a store clerk approaches and says, "Lady, the Crisco is aisle D."

The old lady replies, "Oh, I'm not looking for the cooking stuff. I'm
calling for my husband."

The clerk is astonished. "Your husband's name is Crisco?"

The old lady answers, "Oh no, no, no. I only call him that when we're out
in public."

"I see," said the clerk. "What do you call him at home?"

"Lard ass

[blacksunshine]

oh geez

[u1arunit]

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol

[RockysMom]

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol

Awwwwwn whats a matter mark you dont like that one hehehehehe

[u1arunit]

Nope, not one bit!

Here is a better one:

>A priest decides to take a walk to the pier near his church. He looks
around
>and finally stops to watch a fisherman load his boat. The fisherman
notices,
>and asks the priest if he would like to join him for a couple of hours. The
>priest agrees. The fisherman asks if the priest has ever fished before, to
>which the priest says no. He baits the hook for him and says, "Give it a
>shot
>father." After a few minutes, the priest hooks a big fish and struggles to
>get it in the boat.
>The fisherman says "Whoa, what a big sonofabitch!"
>Priest: "Uh, please sir, can you mind your language?"
>Fisherman: (THINKING QUICKLY) "I'm sorry father, but that's what this fish
>is
>called-a sonofabitch!"
>Priest: "Oh, I'm sorry - I didn't know."
>After the trip, the priest brings the fish to the church and spots the
>bishop.
>Priest: "Eminence, look at this big sonofabitch!"
>Bishop: "Please Father, mind your language, this is a house of God."
>Priest: "No, you don't understand - that's what this fish is called, and I
>caught it. I caught this sonofabitch!"
>Bishop: "Hmmm. You know. I could clean this sonofabitch and we could have
it
>for dinner."
>So the Bishop takes the fish and cleans it, and brings it to Mother
Superior
>at the convent.
>Bishop: "Mother Superior could you cook this sonofabitch for dinner
>tonight?"
>Mother Superior: "My lord, what language!"
>Bishop: "No, Sister, that's what the fish is called - a sonofabitch! Father
>caught it, I cleaned it, and we'd like you to cook it."
>Well, the Pope stops by for dinner with the three of them, and they all
>think
>the fish is great. He asks where they got it.
>Priest: "I caught the sonofabitch!"
>Bishop: "And I cleaned the sonofabitch!"
>Mother Superior: "And I cooked the sonofabitch!"
>The Pope stares at them for a minute with a steely gaze, but then takes off
>his hat, puts his feet up on the table, and says, "You know, you f**kers
are
>all right."