An old lady is walking around in a supermarket calling out, "Crisco, Crisco,
Crissssssco!"

Soon a store clerk approaches and says, "Lady, the Crisco is aisle D."

The old lady replies, "Oh, I'm not looking for the cooking stuff. I'm
calling for my husband."

The clerk is astonished. "Your husband's name is Crisco?"

The old lady answers, "Oh no, no, no. I only call him that when we're out
in public."

"I see," said the clerk. "What do you call him at home?"

"Lard ass