"Men" (you know I love ya all hehehe)

[RockysMom]

:laughing1:Good advice for you ladies...

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.





2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.





3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.





4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.





5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.





6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.





7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.





8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.





9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.





10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.





11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.





12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.





13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him cheque books..

14. Remember a sense of humour does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.





15. Sadly, all men are created equal.
:laughing1::laughing1:

[DVSRICK]

The Top 10 reasons why a handgun is better than a woman

#10 - You can trade an old .44 for two new .22s.
#9 - You can keep one handgun at home and have another for when you're on the road.
#8 - If you admire a friend's handgun, and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
#7 - Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you have a backup.
#6 - Your handgun will stay with you even if you're out of ammo.
#5 - A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space. #4 - Handguns function normally every day of the month.
#3 - A handgun doesn't ask "Do these new grips make me look fat?"
#2 - A handgun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.
AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY THAT A HANDGUN IS BETTER THAN A WOMAN . . . You can buy a silencer for a handgun.




Why Beer Is Better Than Women

You can enjoy a beer all month long.
Beer stains wash out.
You don't have to wine and dine a beer.
Your beer will always wait patiently in the car while you play ball.
If your beer is flat, you can toss it out.
Beer is never late.
A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
A hangover will go away.
Beer labels come off without a fight.
When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.
A beer never has a headache.
A beer will never nag you.
A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer.
If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head.
A beer always goes down easy.
You can share a beer with friends.
You always know if you're the first one to pop a beer.
A beer is always wet.
A beer doesn't demand equality.
You can have a beer in public.
A beer doesn't care what time you come home.
A frigid beer is a good beer.
You don't have to wash a beer for it to taste good.
If you decide to change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.

[wickedcobra]

:biglaugh:

[Jacostang]

Great!!!