RockysMom
04-03-07, 08:35 AM
One day my housework-challenge d husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma "
And they say blondes are dumb...
************ ********* ********* ********* ***
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
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"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
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A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediatel y he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
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Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
************ ********* ********* *********
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
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Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
Now come on you know these are funny, admit it hehehehehehe :pepper: :pepper: :bounce: :bounce: :laughing1: :laughing1: :laughing1:
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma "
And they say blondes are dumb...
************ ********* ********* ********* ***
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
------------ --------- --------- -----
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediatel y he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
------------ --------- --------- -----
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
************ ********* ********* *********
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
Now come on you know these are funny, admit it hehehehehehe :pepper: :pepper: :bounce: :bounce: :laughing1: :laughing1: :laughing1: